I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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