My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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