my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
