I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
we're making bets on your personal life
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
