She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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