girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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