Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
