she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
