So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
