I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
