I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Houston, we have a squirter
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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