There was a lot of him and a little penis
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
