I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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