with your own penis?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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