I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
