let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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