We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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