South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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