I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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