Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
