Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
