M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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