how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
