Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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