Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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