is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The air was thick with penises
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
