how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
