So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
