She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
