It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
