Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
