So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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