You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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