I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
