How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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