hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize