at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
