So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
