I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
