We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
