turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
