My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
