the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He has the fingertips of a God
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
