i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
