I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
