why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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