Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

it was a shit show

(917): View more from New York City

We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note

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(915): View more from Texas

do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?

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(541): View more from Oregon

Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important

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(517): View more from Michigan

I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...

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