everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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