Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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