hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
