hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
