3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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