Can i not drive my cunt home
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
