O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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