Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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