Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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