i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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