She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
my liver is dry heaving
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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