yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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