I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
