I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
